Only Lola Can Prevent Kitchen Fires

Tonight, as I was preparing my Weight Watchers-friendly dinner consisting of chicken Marsala, mushrooms, broccoli, and roasted red potatoes (hungry yet?) and I had a little mishap with the oven. It started when I went to get the chicken out of the oven and my thumb went over the potholder and touched the 450-degree pan. I screamed, dropped the chicken pan, which subsequently flew into the coils, caused sparks, and then splashed a piece of chicken out into the bottom of the oven. Meanwhile, my mushrooms were going from brown to black and my water for steaming the broccoli was boiling like crazy. As I tended to my burnt thumb and the rest of the meal's components, the chicken that had fallen on the bottom of the oven started to burn. Soon, the smoke alarm was shrieking and I was running around turning on vents and opening windows. Don't ask me where Guy was in the midst of all of this.

Finally, after I had gotten everything back to normal and dinner was served, we sat down to eat and noticed the lack of a certain bearded black monster who usually sticks her nose right into our plates before we get the chance to take a bite. We looked all around for Lola and she was nowhere to be found. Usually we don't even have to call her before dinner - the plates clinking is enough to attract her to the living room, but this time, she wasn't even coming when I yelled her name. Finally we decided to check the basement for her in case she had gotten trapped in the garage (it's happened before). When Guy and I went down the steps, she reluctantly came out of our storage room, looking pretty shaken up. She then came upstairs and proceeded to lay her head down on Guy's lap, not paying any mind to the plates full of food sitting inches away from her soft black nose. Plus, she was shaking. This was totally unlike Lola, so we checked to make sure she hadn't gotten into any chemicals in the basement (she hadn't), and the only conclusion we could come to is that she had gotten spooked when the smoke alarm was going off and went into hiding in the basement.

As traumatized as she seemed, it was actually sort of cute to think that she hid out down there, not to mention that we now know how to keep her from begging for scraps!

Lola's Lecture, AKA -- A Post for Jerod

Throughout the past six months or so, Guy and I (mainly I) have undertaken the task of tearing up all of the carpet in our house that has been desecrated by our lovely little beast we call Lola. No matter what we seemed to try, from teaching her to ring bells on the door to spending a fortune on Sears carpet cleaning, Lola refused to stop relieving herself on our plush beige carpet. So, in an effort to deter her disgusting habit, we tore up the carpet bit by bit and replaced it with cheap vinyl tile. Every time we got another section of flooring torn up, Lola moved her favorite potty spot to any remaining carpet she could find.

This past Sunday, we removed the last of the carpet from our master bedroom. The only place where our floor is still cushiony under our feet is the downstairs entry and our walk-in closet. Guy made a comment that we should make sure to close the closet door, lest Lola deem it her new toilet.

Well, Monday came and went, and when the girls arrived home after a long day at Camp Bow Wow, no one let them out to go to the bathroom. At bedtime, I marveled at how cute my two little puppy girls are, having put themselves to bed in the spots where Guy and I usually lay. Then, my eyes fell to the closet door, which had been left open during the day. We are stuck in an old routine and unfortunately, so is Lola. There on the carpet was the tell-tale dark, wet spot. Lola had done it again!

It was at that point in time that I decided Lola needed a lecture. I looked at my little bearded sausage there on the bed, took her head in my heads, and said, sternly, "Your daddy was right about you! We've raised you from a pup and this is how you thank us?" Then Guy, arriving on the scene, decided to add his two cents in. He said, "Yeah, we're your parents. Don't think you can treat us like your little friends down the street!" We were both very pleased with our recollection of parenting cliches. Lola, on the other hand, met us both with her usual blank stare. However, until that day when we do decide to bring human children into the house (hopefully not any time soon), we will get wonderful practice giving good talking-to's to our canine kids.

If Only I Would've Had a Camera

Today Lily & Lola came home from a long day of playing at Camp Bow Wow. They ate their dinners and promptly took up their usual positions begging for food while Daddy and I ate our dinners in the living room. Lily soon tired of this business and curled up for a long summer's nap. Lola, determined to beg till she dropped, stayed under the TV tray where she usually sits, but her eyelids soon betrayed her. Guy and I watched as they started to droop and she struggled to keep them open. But the "America's Funniest Home Videos" moment came when Lola actually closed her eyes and started to slooooowwwwly tip over. She fell asleep sitting up! She was rudely awakened when her head hit the side of the TV tray, but, boy, did we get a good laugh tonight! If only we could have shared it on tape with millions of Americans (and my future husband, Tom Burgeron).

Odd Choice of Signage

I had to take a dog to the South Hills Animal Hospital the other day for work, and I haven't been inside there for a few years, so as I was taking in my surroundings, something jumped out at me. On their front-desk counter, there is one of those plastic signs with engraved letters. You would expect it to say something like "payment is due at the time of your appointment" or "cancellations require 24-hour notice" -- you know, something generic and office-like. No. Instead it says, in big, bold letters -- "GRAPES AND RAISINS CAN KILL YOUR DOG!"

Um...okay...

So can lighter fluid, but you don't have a sign posted about that. I know that grapes and raisins have been the "trendy" item lately for people to make you worry about, but to have an engraved sign about it posted at the vet hospital? It just seemed strange to me.

Mad Mama

I have never been as angry at my dogs as I am tonight. Guy is on a business trip to Virginia, so I'm home alone with the ladies, and usually they are good for me, but tonight is an exception. First of all, Lola has been on this kick lately of squeaking out any door that we open, so she constantly gets out without her leash or collar on. It's not really a problem when she goes out the back door because she usually just runs up the hill and comes back in a minute or two. But tonight, she decided to make her escape out the front door. A black dog on the street in the dark is not a good thing. Now, the reason Lola even had the chance to get out the front door is because of Lily, Miss "I will whine to no end about having to go to the bathroom, but when you let me out, I won't do a thing." I literally let Lily out about 6 times within the span of an hour and a half, and she did absolutely nothing. I knew she had to go number #2 because this is a typical routine with her. I decided to give her one more chance and take her down the street for a change of location. Ideally, Lola would have gone in her crate so I could handle Lily and her poop bag by myself, but not even Nut-tastics could tempt Lola into her cage. She knew something was up.

So, I tried to just get out the door without Lola following, but she got out before me and took off down the road. There I am, screaming her name (to no avail) with Lily on her leash coming along for the chase. Every time I got close to Lola, she just took off further, till she eventually started going into the adjacent townhome plan to ours. It was at this point in time that Lily decided she was finally ready to move her bowels and a nice young couple walked up the road and attracted Lola's attention. I am struggling with Lily while trying explain to them that, yes, Lola is friendly, but that she got off her leash and I'm trying to catch her. They bend down to pet her, only sending Lily into a frenzy because she wants attention, too. As they leave, I'm finally able to pin Lola down to the ground, but there was no way I could walk Lily back home, carry Lola, and carry the poop. So, unfortunately, I had to leave the poop on the ground. I feel really guilty about it, but I couldn't even find it again after the fiasco with the couple, so I just hope nobody steps in it.

At this point, I am about 100 yards from my house with a 45-pound dog hoisted in my left arm and Lily pulling me along on her leash. I pretty much died on the walk back home. At least I don't feel as bad for eating that Dairy Queen cupcake now.

In conclusion, it took all the mental strength I could muster not to strangle both of the dogs upon arriving back home. I am so sick of these issues, which, in my opinion, could be solved by having a house with a fenced-in yard. Can someone please buy me a lottery ticket?

Look Familiar?

I saw this article about a dachsund laying with a tiger and had to click on it. Turns out the dachsund looks a lot like someone I know...

Mary's Dog House

Lily & Lola went to their first official "grooming" yesterday at Mary's Dog House in Bethel Park. I got a good recommendation for Mary's from my friend, Julie, and it's not far from home, so that's why we decided to take them there. I'll sum up our experience with a quick list of pros and cons.

Pros:
-Price! It was $56 for both dogs to be deep cleaned (they even cleaned around their "bumholes" as the lady working there put it), have their nails trimmed, ears cleaned, hair between their paw pads trimmed, and Lola even got a beard/eyebrow cut and had her nails ground to make them less sharp. I definitely wasn't expecting it to be this inexpensive.
-Results! Both dogs looked bee-yoo-tiful when they were finished. Mary's put cute little flowered bandanas on each of them, and Guy didn't even recognize Lola when she first came out with her fresh haircut.
-Staff! The staff members were very friendly and accommodating.

Cons:
-Time -- Now, since I have never taken the dogs to be groomed before, it's hard to know if this is truly a con, but it took 2 1/2 hours to finish them. I was expecting more like an hour. But, I could be totally off base in my expectations.
-Appearance of store -- When we first walked in, the store definitely appeared in a state of disarray. I know that shaving and cleaning dogs all day is sure to be a messy business, but the place looked like it could use a good scrubbing.
-Strange child playpen in the rear of the store -- There was a really, really odd fenced-in area in the back of the dog-grooming space with toys and a little toddler just kind of piddling around. It looked like we were observing him at a zoo. Granted, this doesn't have anything to do with the quality of their business, but it was just plain weird.

So, as you can see, I would say the pros definitely outweigh the cons at Mary's Dog House. If you don't have the time to do a self-serve wash, I'd highly recommend Mary's for all your grooming needs.