Throughout the past six months or so, Guy and I (mainly I) have undertaken the task of tearing up all of the carpet in our house that has been desecrated by our lovely little beast we call Lola. No matter what we seemed to try, from teaching her to ring bells on the door to spending a fortune on Sears carpet cleaning, Lola refused to stop relieving herself on our plush beige carpet. So, in an effort to deter her disgusting habit, we tore up the carpet bit by bit and replaced it with cheap vinyl tile. Every time we got another section of flooring torn up, Lola moved her favorite potty spot to any remaining carpet she could find.
This past Sunday, we removed the last of the carpet from our master bedroom. The only place where our floor is still cushiony under our feet is the downstairs entry and our walk-in closet. Guy made a comment that we should make sure to close the closet door, lest Lola deem it her new toilet.
Well, Monday came and went, and when the girls arrived home after a long day at Camp Bow Wow, no one let them out to go to the bathroom. At bedtime, I marveled at how cute my two little puppy girls are, having put themselves to bed in the spots where Guy and I usually lay. Then, my eyes fell to the closet door, which had been left open during the day. We are stuck in an old routine and unfortunately, so is Lola. There on the carpet was the tell-tale dark, wet spot. Lola had done it again!
It was at that point in time that I decided Lola needed a lecture. I looked at my little bearded sausage there on the bed, took her head in my heads, and said, sternly, "Your daddy was right about you! We've raised you from a pup and this is how you thank us?" Then Guy, arriving on the scene, decided to add his two cents in. He said, "Yeah, we're your parents. Don't think you can treat us like your little friends down the street!" We were both very pleased with our recollection of parenting cliches. Lola, on the other hand, met us both with her usual blank stare. However, until that day when we do decide to bring human children into the house (hopefully not any time soon), we will get wonderful practice giving good talking-to's to our canine kids.
2 comments:
Awful parenting skills. I jotted down some comments - they are in no particular order:
1. Where is the ole hickory switch you use to lay into your children?
2. Why did you need Guy to lay down the final word?
3. Why was dinner cold?
4. Did the Xbox break? Is that why Guy entered the room?
5. Where do babies come from?
6. Does Doreen still read this stuff?
7. Julie Bologna called - she wants to know if I'm single and ready to mingle.
8. Van Halen called and wants Guy to play guitar for them on their next tour.
9. Nine
10. There are a lot of commercials on TV for law firms. And they all look AWFUL.
Top that! Start AND end a comment with the same exact WORD!
If it quacks like a duck and walks like a duck, it must be Guy.
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