Won't You Be My Neighbor?

If Mister Rogers had an archenemy, it would be my dog Lily. I recently purchased a Mister Rogers book and DVD for my cousin's son's birthday. I had them set out with the gift bag I intended to package them in, but Lily was too quick for my procrastinating ways. Yesterday morning, when I got out of the shower, I found Lily sprawled out in the hallway with the "Trolley Visit to Make Believe" book in her paws and a guilty look on her face (though unfortunately not a viral video, guest star on Good Morning America kind of look). As upset as I was that Lily had destroyed what would have been a most splendid gift for a 2-year-old, I chalked it up to a case of doggy boredom and nothing more. That is, until I realized I had a repeat offender on my hands.

Same scenario, different day. I get out of the shower and go downstairs to find "Adventures in Friendship" de-sweatered and chewed around the edges (yes, a Mister Rogers DVD was encased in a sweater - tell me that's not adorable). So now not only has Lily obliterated my entire gift for Collin Stalnaker, but she has proven to have a personal vendetta against Mister Rogers, one of the nicest men to ever walk this earth! I know what you're thinking: how did Lily get a hold of the DVD after she had already taken the book? Didn't you put it away? To that I say, yes. Sort of. I kept the DVD in the same spot where I was keeping the book, but I covered it up. I didn't think Lily would ever make the same horrible, blasphemous-against-childhood-memories-everywhere mistake twice, especially not when my room is filled with other more appetizing things for her to steal. I guess I underestimated her disdain for charming television icons of the 20th century.

I can picture it now how the great heist went down. Lola stands with her ear to the bathroom door, giving Lily the go-ahead nod when the shower starts to run. Lily, much like the giant in Jack and the Beanstalk, uses her keen sense of smell to seek out the blood of the "Englishman." When she finds her target, she quickly and nimbly grabs it from the pile and retreats downstairs to take out her vengeance in private. There she sits, gnawing on the DVD case, spitting out a corner with a look of disgust on her face, all while muttering, "Beautiful day in the neighborhood, my ass!"

I have a few more weeks to pick up a new gift for Collin that will earn me the title of "Best Second Cousin in All the Land," but I am going to make sure I get Lily's approval on whatever I decide to buy. I mean, if this is how she feels about Mister Rogers, imagine what she'd do to Sharon, Lois & Bram!